Imagine being transported to a planet where everyone feasted, praised, lived for, and worshipped … chocolate. For the chocolate enthusiast that environment seems ideal.

But what if there was a catch? What if only married couples were allowed to enjoy this tasty confection, and you, unfortunately, were single? What would you do? Cultivate a taste for vanilla? Search for a spouse? Enjoy some truffles in secret?

Many singles today find themselves in a similar situation. Everywhere we turn we’re bombarded with the message that sex is the end-all and be-all of life. Television commercials, magazine ads, movies, and sitcoms all carry the subtle message that sex appeal is the ticket to a slicker car, a classier home, a charming spouse, and a more fulfilling life. But is that really true? 

As a single woman committed to Christ, how do I live victoriously in a sex-saturated culture? Looking back on my 20-plus years of singleness, I’d like to offer a few suggestions that have helped me remain faithful in a world drowning in sexual hype. To start with: 

1. Absorb the Scriptures. Years ago as a frazzled college freshman I heard about an author who always made a point to read something uplifting before bedtime. By doing this he would drift off to sleep with something positive on his mind, rather than the latest news story or family woes haunting his dreams. Being an enthusiastic reader myself, and having recently renewed my commitment to Christ, I thought that sounded like a good idea, so I started reading my Bible before turning in.

This regular time in the Scriptures nourished my blossoming faith and helped quell some of my first-time-away-from-home anxieties. As my faith grew, so did my reading material, which came to include devotionals and other Christian books. This nightly ritual became such a habit for me that I can hardly sleep without it some 20 years later. No matter how late it is or how weary I am at day’s end, I can’t help but reach for a daily dose of inspiration waiting for me on my bedside table.

Keeping the Scriptures at the forefront of your mind is one of the most beneficial things you can do to keep your faith-walk fresh and your thoughts pure. Our culture pelts us daily with messages contrary to the Scriptures, but if we keep God’s Word in our hearts we won’t be mislead. I’ve been known to tape Scripture verses on my bathroom mirror, my car’s dashboard, my wallet and even on my bedpost to remind me that I’m not alone. Even when a Bible isn’t close at hand, verses I’ve memorized can be recited out loud to calm my fears and give me confidence.

The Scriptures help us know God and His will. Don’t ignore the incredible wisdom waiting for you there.   

2. Cultivate friends who encourage you in the faith. Just as “bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33), good company promotes and protects good morals. I have a few close confidants who don’t mind telling me when an attitude of mine needs to be corralled or when I’m skating a little too close to the edge morally. We all need people in our lives who will tell us the whole truth, and not just what we want to hear. Friendship takes time, so ask God today to help you be a better friend to others, and to lead you to faithful friends you can walk through life with.

3. Live your dreams. Believe me, it’s a lot easier to wait patiently on God to give you a spouse if you’re doing things you love to do. Take a class, plan a mission trip, or start a new hobby. Don’t waste the time you’ve been given wishing your life was more exciting. Make it exciting!

In college I made a list of things that I wanted to do, and guess what? I’ve accomplished nearly 90 percent of the items on that list. Is there a desire in your heart you just can’t shake? Start taking baby steps to achieve your goal. 

One friend of mine is learning to play the fiddle, while another is becoming an ace photographer, and last fall my sister and I planned a dream vacation to Vermont. We “ooh’d” and “ahh’d” our way across the East Coast, and ended our journey at a Tony Bennett concert at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. We were having too much fun to feel like we were missing out on anything, and so can you. Your single years are precious, so make them fun and memorable.  

4. Focus on what you really want. From the very first time I saw my father sweep my mother into his arms and dance her across the living room floor, I knew I wanted a husband. Even though my siblings and I were showered with love and affection, there was something unique and special that only the two of them shared.  

Dad was numero uno in Mom’s life, and vice versa. Serving up his favorite meals—like roast beef and black-eyed peas—when he arrived home weary from a long day of travel, she spent her life lovingly accommodating this man she adored. He in turn provided a safe and secure environment for her to nurture and exercise her gifts and receive his love. How could I not want that? Seeing it in action was irresistible. 

When it was my turn to take a dive into the dating pool, there was no doubt what I was aiming for. With my focus on my future husband, temptations seemed less tempting or appealing. There’s no time for detours when your mind is riveted on your destination, and my heart’s map was clearly pointing to matrimony. Inquisitive suitors came and went, but my focus remained steady. I wanted a husband—not a guy pal, not a just-for-fun fling, not a “partner” to share rent, but a “marry me and be my wife” forever kind of husband!    

As the years go by, it’s harder to keep my eye on the marital prize. But my desire remains the same. Stay focused. Your dream, like mine, may be a phone call away.

Until then, I’ll just keep leaning on Jesus, looking to Him to give me strength when I grow weary in life’s battle. No one ever said swimming against the cultural tide was going to be easy, but God’s Word does say that those who put their trust in Him, and follow after righteousness, will find life, goodness and honor. Now isn’t that something worth waiting for?